Hijacked!

Well, I (Chrissy Vance) have hijacked the apartment 1004 blog post for the day.  My writing is far less ....GOOD?.... and my pictures are much more....PLAIN??..... but Dave simply hasn't any time tonight to blog.  I am excited to break his blogging  rules of 3 pictures only,  and his witty well constructed sentences... Ha ha ha. HAHAHAHA!!!  All these exclamation points and poor grammar is going to drive him Craaaaaazy!

Anyways, Dave is out at Tim Hortons pushing through the last of the exam marking, and then needs to put his report cards and comments together for all his students. He suspects he should be done by midnight.   This is actually a huge improvement from his first few years teaching, where he pulled all nighters ALL THE TIME! We have figured out a routine where he manages to stay on top of marking if he puts in about 4 evenings per week and 4 hours on Saturday during the day.   This probably sounds like a ton, but it is SO much less than those first few years.   After 5 years he has his base prep work mostly done, but he likes to improve on things, and introduce new books, etc.  Mostly, though, he teaches HEAVY English courses, and so long papers and annoying grammar quizzes are constantly piling up. Somehow this system has kept his head above water, and TONIGHT should be the last work night he puts in for the school year.  Seriously, these teachers deserve their holidays and summers off.

Dave is not only such a wonderful teacher, but he is a fantastic husband and dad.  He somehow balances these three demanding things.  He took me out for a great date last night, and spent half the day with the family despite the late night it meant for him.   Here we are getting started this morning.

Usually, the kids watch a show before lunch time.  However, Dave and I were so wiped we slept in until 7! On school days Dave is up at 5:30 to get things moving, and I typically fall back asleep until 6 before getting up an hour before the kids come down from their rooms.  I really am NOT a morning person.  Well, I am, actually. I love the morning, but it takes me about 20 minutes of blank staring while sipping on coffee before I am ready to talk to anyone in a kind way.  So, when we slept in this morning, and then the kids were up and bouncing, we popped on some cable so we (I) could have my several minutes of blank staring and coffee sipping.  They actually look just as tired as I do, but everyone had a great sleep the previous night.

After eating breakfast, and cleaning up, and getting showered and everyone dressed, Dave plunked down with Jesse to build some lego, and the girls and I tackled some packing in the basement.  We made it to soccer JUST in time for parent participation day.  I should have just kept the girls home and let the boys do their thing, but knowing our plans to be inside for a lot of the day packing up, I figured us girls would go watch and get some fresh air for a while.  Here they are starting up.

Well, a few minutes into parent day, RObyn decided she wanted to play soccer.  She kept bolting out from the sidelines onto the field right to Dave or Jesse (whoever had the soccer ball.) After a few repeated attempts to bring her back, she just stood on the sidelines with her back to me, SCREAMING with tears pouring down her face.  " RObyn," I said, " Do you need a snuggle from mommy?"  She would glare at me and shout, "No! Dada!" and then she would whip around and continue her impressive fit.  Dave, sensing my annoyance and extreme discomfort from the heat, baby bump, and stiff back, ran over and scooped her up.  He actually played soccer with Jesse for about an hour in scorching heat, while toting around a 20 pound toddler!  She loved it. She was smiling and beaming and giggling.  Janna and I chilled, as we like to do, and the day was saved.   Can you find them here?

We came home for lunch, and to honor Dave's awesome soccer and toddler skills, I will post a picture of what we ate. Yes, it's watermelon, pancakes, and there was some bacon too, it got eaten first, perhaps? I feel happy that there isn't any pictures of greasy meat!  he he he

Well, after the kids got down for naps, Dave took off to mark until dinner.  I spent the afternoon packing,  cleaning, playing with the kids outside, and getting the kids bathed,  etc before tackling supper.  Dave was able to eat dinner with us, and join Jesse and I for a game of "trouble" before tucking the kids in and taking off again.  Jesse received that board game for his birthday, and I forgot how much fun it was.

Anyways, that is all for now.  The day is done.  Tomorrow we will rest. Ish.  As much as you can with 3 little kids.  I had a video I wanted to post of the kids running wildly before bed, and Jesse smoking Robyn by accident, but I don't really know how to put that on here.  Maybe Dave will save it for one of his "randoms" post.

peace out!
Dave (Chrissy for real)

Date Night is The Best Thing

It's 9:51pm, and I'm having a really hard time keeping my eyes open. This has been a busy week full of exams, marking, and graduation activities. It has also been a trying day, featuring a broken snorkel, an outraged son, and miscellaneous disciplinary activities.

So clearly, a date night was in order.

Chrissy and I have far from perfected our Friday-night date routine, but as it stands right now... we try to do something intentional on Fridays. How's that for a plan! Tonight, a dear family friend, Leah Meredith, came to our rescue and stayed at our house for a few hours whilst we escaped to the wondrous land of the "outside world."

Leah and Cooper go way back. In fact, Cooper actually inspired Leah and her family to get their family dog, Boo. I think you can tell a lot about a person by their reaction to dogs, so clearly, Leah is "top shelf." 

Nachos for me and a Chocolate "Doughcano" for Chrissy. That was awesome. We left Boston Pizza in a tremendously good mood.

No date night would be complete without a romantic walk past the Centrepoint Library. But lest you think my priorities are misplaced, that glow you see was actually caused by my love for Chrissy, not the nearby shelves of classic literature.  

Chrissy and I returned home feeling like much better people than when we left. Clearly, date night is the best thing. 

Thanks, Leah!

Until next time...

Happy Birthday, Jesse!

According to my (admittedly shaky) calculations, my son has now been with us for 1826 days (after birth). What a gift this has been to us. This little guy, who prefers I call him "big guy," has impressed me with his kind heart, his generous hugs, his talkative nature, and his inability to watch any scary movie scene without plugging his ears or leaving the room.

We love him.

I always have a hard time finding the line between recognizing important positive traits in my children and bragging about them, but for now maybe it will just do to recognize that while he is far from perfect, we also see tremendous potential in him to bring justice into the world, to show mercy to others, and to follow Jesus. We hope and pray that this will be the case. In the meantime, we're thankful for the time during which he has been entrusted into our care.

Ok, this is a little controversial. Chrissy holds (strangely) the distinct and strong opinion that I should not begin Jesse's birthday photos with a shot of the barbecue. She fails to realize that in observing the BBQ, we observe a significant portion of Jesse's soul. This is reflected, of course,  in his sincere request that for his birthday dinner, we have hamburgers with cheese and pepperoni.

This, I argue, is an out-of-the-box idea. But really, why shouldn't we combine hamburgers and pepperoni - two of the most majestic meats found in (sort of) nature? Despite our disagreements on appropriate birthday photos, both Chrissy and I agreed that this was an excellent suggestion and we set about making Jesse's dreams come true. 

Lego: The original Minecraft.

Jesse is just realizing that he no longer has enough time in his day to pursue the infinite opportunities afforded by these small, simple blocks.

Make a firetruck: check. I think we have all felt this glow of satisfaction from completing an authentic Lego project. Right? 

All in all, it was a great day. We'll be having an actual birthday party for Jesse after the move, but this was a pretty heartwarming evening for us all the same.

Love you, Jesse bear.
Until next time...

POST 101

Usually, people make a big deal out of landmarks like their one hundredth post, but I missed it. So, here is post 101. Unfortunately, while I'd love to make this a big, epic post, I have to write report cards tonight. Admittedly, that feels a little anti-climactic for a 101st post, but what can you do? Duty calls, and my students need their learning assessed in a professional and yet constructive way. I'm there.

But first, some photos.

This is how Janna greeted us first thing this morning. It's hard to know what to say when your eldest daughter emerges from her room on a hot summer day wearing her brother's sweater, red commando goggles, and waving various Duplo segments while exclaiming, "I have breakfast!"

Katie came over for supper tonight, and she brought pizza. This particular pizza, for your information, was a mix of mozzarella and feta/goat cheese, fresh basil, sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, and pine nuts. Mmmmmmmmm.

Janna, Robyn, and I went to the library. Usually this is a somewhat fearful process, as Robyn likes to drop my hand and do her own thing in the parking lot, both girls like to pull random books off shelves, and Janna is just generally a wildcard.

However. with much time and effort we made it from the parking lot to the front doors. It took about ten minutes. Both girls insisted on resting in every crevice, window, and shelf provided by the terrain on the way inside. Finally we made it to the lobby of the library...

...only to realize that I had forgotten my wallet/library card in the van. (Does anyone else relate to the intense inner pain associated with this kind of situation?)

But you know, it was a good day. Katie and Chrissy are watching some So You Think You Can Dance, and I'm warming up my report-card-typing fingers. 

Happy 101st post,

Until next time...

Bittersweet Parenting

My son, if sinful men entice you,

do not give in to them.

If they say, "Come along with us;

Let's lie in wait for innocent blood,

Let's ambush some harmless soul...

My son, do not go along with them,

Do not set foot on their paths...

(Proverbs)

The older our kids get, the more we're noticing that parenting is truly a bittersweet affair. There are moments of genuine beauty and warmth, and there are moments where you get this nervous knot in your stomach as you are forced to discipline your children and hope that they take your words to heart. It honestly feels like the whole world is at stake. If they listen, if their hearts are soft enough to hear the love behind the warning, then they'll change their ways and follow a better path. I'm talking about Robyn here, of course, the rebellious little tyke. (Just joking.). If they don't, and they turn away and choose to find their security, value, comfort somewhere else... I'm not really sure how we'll deal with that.

Listen to me stressing out over these things when the kids are all under five. But Jesse turns five on Thursday, and he's already showing these little hints of much bigger struggles down the road. Honesty or deception? Love or selfishness? I don't believe for a minute that the things we'll face when these kiddies are teens don't have their roots in what's happening right now.

Ultimately, it's out of our control. God is holding us tightly; we really believe this, and we pray for our kids every day. We need to - because I honestly don't know what else I can do to convince Jesse to be genuinely kind to his siblings, or convince Janna not to be a diva, or convince Robyn not to bite all of us.

Parenting tips are always appreciated.

Here's the sweet part: Janna is genuinely in love with her mom and is truly excited about going out on their date to the grocery store tonight.

Bitter: Her innocent, heartfelt comments before she left were, "Hi Dada. I'm going to the store with Momma. Not with you. With Momma. Right, Momma? Just us. Not Dada." Then she glared at me as though I were some sort of nefarious beast that was plotting to swoop in and destroy her Mom time.

Sweet: Yes, my child is, quite literally, embracing the word of God. Take heart, all my merry conservative friends, that this is the ESV, not The Message. Robyn is clearly like "a tree planted by streams of water / which yields its fruit in season."

Bitter: She is angry that she is not going with Janna on the Mom-date. I am the only tangible object of her ire. She has already brought me one of my shoes (pictured in the foreground), and now she is actually pitching the large study Bible at me in an emotional appeal to get going.

(Note: Having launched the good book at my chest, she proceeded to angrily fling open the pages. I thought this was merely a childish act of rage until I noticed that she had flung the Bible open to the book of Exodus. Clearly she thought it was time to get moving.)

Bitter: Jesse is being forced to eat a plate of rice after feeding much of his supper to the dog in an effort to get dessert faster. Even worse, this is after repeated warnings not to give the dog his food. Childish stunt or something bigger? We thought the latter, much to Jesse's dismay.

Sweet: After being informed that he would have no dessert, being asked to eat a new plate of rice, and throwing an impressive tantrum in his room, Jesse came down for a heart-to-heart with dad about deception and honesty. He (eventually) took it like a man, finished his rice, and asked God to help him not to be "crafty" (somehow that word got thrown in). 

Man, we don't really know what we're doing here, but the intentions are good. And while parenting may be bittersweet, the sweet definitely outweighs the bitter, at least right now. God help us!

Sincerely,
Until next time...

Important Moments, Up Close and (Way Too) Personal

Three photographs, three significant moments. Some are glorious; some are gross. Some are beautiful and pure; others are bitterly rank. Some deal with sweat; others concern saliva.

I give you the latest development in candid photo essays: "Important Moments, Up Close and (Way Too) Personal."

"Sweaty Man Takes a Selfie"

As I was completing a run the other night, I smugly thought to myself, "I just ran really hard and pretty far. Surely all people driving by must be faintly intimidated by my athletic stride and my cool, confident expression."

Absolutely convinced that if I felt victorious, I must surely also look victorious, I was slightly off-put when I discovered that the wind had played cruel games with my 'do and had turned me into a mobile early-nineties hair experiment. At least I looked confident...

"An Innocent Game of Spit Bubbles"

Janna came up with the greatest game this evening after supper - she would blow spit bubbles, and we were to pop them. Blow, Pop, Giggle, Repeat. The trouble is that every human being has only a limited amount of saliva in his/her mouth. It's a simple, tragic rule of life: You can't blow spit bubbles indefinitely. Eventually "Blow, Pop, Giggle, Repeat" was replaced by assorted dry clicking sounds as the game ground to an unexpected halt.

"Triumphant Boy Learns to Whistle"

After days of trying, Jesse finally managed to pull off a real whistle today. Was he ever excited. And Chrissy and I were legitimately proud; he had been fake whistling for a while (making the whistle face but using his voice - do you know what I mean?), and I was secretly wondering if he would grow up to be a "non whistler".

Clearly, my fears were in vain, and I will soon be able to check off one more life goal on my list: to whistle the bridge/instrumental part to the Newsboys' "Breakfast" with my son.  

Well, that was an odd post. It must be a Monday at the end of the year. It's hard to believe that there are only two full weeks of school left. The marking has been intense, but my gracious, kind, and incredibly enthusiastic family has brought me tremendous joy during these last few weeks. Chrissy, fully six months pregnant now, has been packing like a champ, even while watching our three kids along with assorted others in her part-time day care program. What a lady.

Tired (but inspired),
Until next time...

Saturday: The Day After Friday

I feel like our Saturday routine is becoming streamlined.

First, the kids and I have some sort of exercise-type event after breakfast. Sometimes this is a run, and sometimes it's a bike ride. Today Jesse and I (along with the two girls in the bike trailer) travelled to the far away land that we refer to as the "Bridge" - a small bridge over a little stream along the trailers towards the north of the city. We never actually reach the Bridge before having to turn back, but it's becoming like a mythological journey across Narnia for us - we have certain signposts we need to reach (Baseline Station, Iris Station, the Queensway Station) and then, theoretically, we should reach the Bridge, and beyond that, the Ottawa River. Each time we make it slightly further before having to turn back. It's an adventure.

Next, it's time for soccer madness. Chrissy usually joins us for part of Jesse's soccer practice, but often, for a time, I have the three kids to look after on my own. When this is the case, I try to sit them both on my lap and get them to cheer for Jesse.

The cheering squad. It was around this time that Janna told me she needed to pee. I wasn't sure what to say (since I was already feeling a little over my head with the two girls), so I told her that she should probably hold it. Miraculously, she agreed, and that was the end of it.

Then we go to some kind of park, and I have to say that the park near our new place (called Mulligan Park) is pretty amazing. There's all kinds of different play structures here (this is one way in which I think Ottawa outdoes itself).

The fourth step is to go home to get some lunch. I don't know what other kids are like, but our kids are grumpy before they eat. Like, "sit in a chair and cry" grumpy.

Fifth, the kids go down for quiet time, nap time, etc. Chrissy and I usually try to squeeze in a power nap, and then I'm off to school to mark for a few hours.

Sixth: Supper and family games. Family games night is one of Jesse's favourite times of the week... unless he's losing. Tonight we played war, and I totally devastated him in one of the war showdowns. It's hard to watch that kind of thing. You know he wants to have a good attitude, but you also know that you basically just crushed his soul by winning all of his cards. He tries to keep his chin up, but I know (from being the worst sport you can imagine as a child) that this will be a challenge for him in the future. Then again, he has a lot of Chrissy in him, so we might be alright...

Chrissy ruthlessly strikes down his paltry four of hearts with her ten of hearts. Jesse makes no visible reaction, but inside he's plotting his ultimate revenge with the king of spades he's been saving for the opportune moment.

And then the kids go to bed. Time to slow down and fill those next few hours with beautiful, relaxing activities. Or maybe we just fall asleep by accident and wake up tomorrow morning.

Both options are good.

Until next time...

"Friday Night is Like Getting Hit By a Bus"

Chrissy and I were sitting here, trying to find a good way to describe the state of emotional fatigue that we often feel at the end of the week.

(Sorry to be a "Downer Douglas" here. Just tryin' to be honest.)

We don't always feel as though we've been hit by a bus on Fridays. Sometimes it feels more like a smart car or a bicycle. "But wait!" you may say. "I thought Christians were always cheerful, happy, luminous people."

Well, we may give off more than the average glow in the early morning, but as often as not, that's simply the powerful cosmic force of strong coffee flowing through our veins. In actual fact, I believe, it is quite normative for Christians to feel absolutely overwhelmed by their circumstances. I think that the psalms themselves were actually meant to give voice to the people of God as they felt particularly impressed by their life situations.

Psalm 69 has always comforted me in this:
"Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God."

I feel like this guy must have just tried to go grocery shopping with his kids.

The beautiful thing about the psalms, though, is their perfect mixture of honesty with hope. The psalmist continues:

"But as for me, afflicted and in pain - 
may your salvation, God, protect me.
I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hooves.
The poor will see and be glad - 
you who seek God, may your hearts live!
The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people."

Amen! We'll get through this. Nap time will come.

It will be beautiful.

Rainy day #3. I think we're ready to move on.

Jesse and Janna found a bug. Note how Janna is not crying? This is a major breakthrough. Now to study the infinite mysteries of insectitude.

So, I'll rant about this another time, but I'm a firm believer in the Christian cultural mandate to study and create culture. Anna Karenina was written right in the midst of Leo Tolstoy's realization that Christ is the way for all men to find life and peace. Also, it totally speaks to our tendency to try to find happiness in our own selves as opposed to something that's outside of ourselves and greater.

I finished the book last fall and have been meaning to watch the movie ever since. Tonight is the night. 

Ok. I'm done.

Homiletically yours,
Until next time...

Packing, Marking, Voting

June 12, 2014, should go down in the history books for so many reasons.

First, Mary Wilson, of HomeMade Tales fame, joined us for a "packing party," in which I admittedly did not participate. Nevertheless, it was great to get some solid help as we prepare for our pilgrimage to Barrhaven on June 28th! I'll be writing more on this later. It is very exciting.

The amount of organizational prowess shared between these two heartily-pregnant ladies can barely be described with words. Just looking at this photo makes me want to go and write a To Do list or begin a spreadsheet.

Secondly, on this day I was able to mark several more of my World Issues research papers: eight-page tomes of geographical investigation. I am happy to report that the pile is shrinking steadily, and I hope to finish off these babies tomorrow at school.

Here is the Vance marking experience: papers, water glasses, and baby wipes. Just for emergencies.

Finally, as you may have heard, today is is voting day in Ontario. We, as responsible citizens, were pleased to do our civic duty in casting our vote for our preferred vision of provincial governance.

There has been a lot of funny rhetoric surrounding this particular election. I won't get into my person views on this family friendly blog (because we all know that there is certainly no overlap between the social and political spheres), except to say that I truly wish that we had a socially conservative option. That said, we are genuinely fortunate to live in a province with such a legacy of generosity towards its citizens. Say what you like about our current liberal government; we have been well treated.

Whether or not we can afford to be so well treated is the question that Ontarians will decide tonight.

Chrissy and Mary illustrate the dramatic nature of voting night in Ontario. Cooper is quite obviously impressed. 

Time to watch the results (sounds like a Liberal victory). I wonder if, looking back, we'll consider this to be a positive or negative moment in our history?

I guess only time will tell.
Until next time...

The Effects of Rainy Days on Small Children, and the Joys of Breaking One's Oven

I woke up this morning to an alert on my iPod: a rainfall warning had been issued with seventy millimetres of rain expected over the next twenty-four hours. In my mind's eye, I saw cars being carried down the raging streets-turned-rapids, waves crashing into telephone poles and houses, and off in the distance, a large wooden structure gaining buoyancy with heretical Hollywood giants pounding on its doors.

In actual fact, we had a fairly modest drizzle, just enough to prevent the kids from playing outside. Naturally, this gave the children more energy, which found its expression in the unusual acrobatic feats they nonchalantly performed around supper time.

Robyn can now mount tall furniture. This is frightening to us, because unlike our two older children who had a healthy fear of most things, Robyn seems to lack inhibitions entirely. It's pretty cute to watch, though.

Jesse has taken (today) to standing on his head. That's what extra energy does to young children. The more energy they have, the less gravity seems to affect them.

On an unrelated note, I accidentally left the oven turned on all night after enjoying some late-night French fries. (I recognize that this is a dangerous and unfortunate matter, and I do not mean to take it lightly.) As we woke up from an unexpectedly warm night, I realized my error and quickly turned off the oven.

Too late, it seems. The oven wouldn't turn on for the rest of the day, and Chrissy was forced to order Pizza for us. This is the joy of breaking one's oven.

If you look carefully into Janna's eyes, you can see her muted angst over the fate of the stove. Right?

And then we flipped the breaker and all was well.

Wired, but well fed,
Until next time...

Re-Imagining C. S. Lewis

Everyone, it seems, has read C. S. Lewis' (rightfully) lauded children's book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Well, it's about time that we stopped making Hollywood productions of the old book and started taking these words of classic fantasy into the Twenty-First Century.

Therefore, I present to you, with all the spiritual and emotive force of the original, The Mother, the Tractor, and the Grape. You see, it all begins when the Vances are transported to the magical world of Mooney's Bay for a beach supper...

Meet the Mother - protagonist of this soon-to-be best-selling story. Her ambition is modest: to have a simple and happy family supper at the beach. Here we find her cheerfully munching on some dill pickle rice puffs and appreciating the soothing sounds of the waves lapping against the soft sand and Robyn's gentle barks of verbal aggression towards the nearby seagulls... 

...when all of a sudden a freakishly large tractor randomly emerges (from the underworld?) and throws one young Vance (who shall not be named) into a fit of paralytic terror. Poor Mother has not counted on this particular antagonist, and all hopes of a happy supper seem to have been dashed....

...until one brave, handsome Father (who shall not be named) discovers a long-forgotten secret (known to some as "deep magic"): the power of the Grape.

He had noticed just earlier that the youngest Vance was sitting on the blanket with her mouth open. In an effort to distract the slightly-older Vance, who was recovering from her paralytic fit of terror, the Father decided to plop a Grape into the youngest child's open mouth.

The early reaction seemed positive, then.....

BOOM! Instant cackling. We had stumbled upon something huge here - the secret to instantaneous and profound happiness. Simply stick a Grape into a toddler's mouth and watch the reaction. 

Over and over we tried this strange ritual, and the results were entirely replicable. More importantly, Robyn's powerful amity with the Grape had a heart-warming effect upon the rest of us. While the evil tractor may have turned our hearts to stone, the Robyn-Grape combination brought life and hope for the evening.

The Mother, the Tractor, and the Grape will be released solely and exclusively on this blog, so stay tuned. We're already working on the sequel, The Van and His Boy.

With great literary embellishment,
Until next time...

Gifts from Long Lost Uncle Jesse

Monday nights are late nights, so this will be short. We rarely hear from Chrissy's brother Jesse, so when we do, it is an exciting occasion. This is not his fault; he has been teaching English in South Korea for two years, so it's not as if he can just pop over.

It's clear, then, that the kids' excitement over not just hearing from Uncle Jesse but also receiving a genuine South Korean care package is completely understandable.

The kids pour over the strange foreign foods. 

Robyn tried out the Korean dog treats, much to Chrissy's alarm and my amusement.
(I have to admit, the bright orange and white treats looked appetizing, kind of like the doggy version of creamsicles. )

The highlight, though, was definitely the Korean version of a Jack-in-the-Box that is activated, curiously, by stabbing a pirate, who is trapped in a barrel, with several swords. Jesse loves and fears this toy. He gets so scared that he has to literally leave the room whenever anyone else is stabbing the pirate. When it's his turn, he'll do it, but only with his eyes closed.

We could show many more photos of the kids enjoying Jesse's gifts, but suffice it to say, they're thankful. Jesse, we're thinking of you today. Thanks for making the kids' day, and we're looking forward to seeing you in September.

Until next time...

The Week in Review

Another one of those days when way too many things are happening to actually pick up the camera.

But I have plans, believe me.

In the meantime, here are some "B-side" photos from this week, arranged in no particular order.

Chrissy, folding about five baskets of laundry while watching "So You Think You Can Dance." Unfortunately, the element on our dryer burnt out at the beginning of the week, resulting in SIX DAYS without clean laundry. We learned three things: 1) Having dirty laundry on hot days literally makes your house stink. 2) Clean underwear is a blessing that we should not take for granted. 3) Six days of laundry is a lot of work to wash when your dryer finally gets fixed. Thanks to our neighbour Dave for giving us periodic access to his laundry resources.

Janna dances for us while modelling her new summer PJ line. 

And in the midst of this all, I sit at the table and mark. It's getting done, and that is a good thing.

Two more class days of school. It's hard to believe. And then we're moving to Barrhaven, which is also hard to believe.

Good times ahead.
Until next time...

The End of the Week

Well, it's that time of week when we (Vances) mysteriously have less patience with our kids. Our kids, equally mysteriously, are less than thrilled with the company of their weary parents. All of this leads to somewhat shorter tempers and unpredictable reactions to just about everything.

What better time to try to have supper outdoors?

During our recent foray into the wilderness known as Orléans a couple of days ago, Janna and I also picked up a patio set and somehow fit it into our minivan, which, like Mary Poppins' magical bag, seems capable of storing an infinite amount of cargo. Tonight, as the kids erupted into spontaneous tears and shrieks around us, I thought, "Hey, let's try out that patio set and have supper outside in our backyard? What could go wrong?"

Apart from Janna's apocalyptic fits of terror every time she spotted or thought of an insect, things went pretty smoothly. That is, until I decided to give Jesse an unexpected present from my school's drama class. I think his reaction is pretty much the perfect representation of our emotional state at the end of the week.

Ironically, Janna's intense reaction to the bugs this evening may have been justified. We felt a little bad for growling at her once we saw the big bites on her neck and back. So much for insects being our friends.

What can bring some life to a pretty beat couple on a Friday evening? This was the question we asked ourselves tonight. The answer? Popcorn, tastefully seasoned with salt and real butter, accompanied by the traditional combination of GF crackers, pretzels, cheese, and avocado, naturally. Add to this one episode of Seinfeld and you have yourself one perfect Friday night in the Vance household.

That said, my ability to type a coherent thought is slipping away from me quickly. 10pm is fifteen minutes past bed time. Must make it upstairs....

TGIF,
Until next time...

Baths and Babies

I can still remember the first few times I gave Jesse a bath as a baby. Of course, I was worried that I would drown him. Then he kicked and screamed so much that I worried he was going to drown me.

How the times have changed. Now bathing three children at once seems like a walk in the park, though I find I'm much less sympathetic than I used to be. The screaming has not lessened; I simply notice it less. Washing the children's hair has been reduced to three simple steps:

1. Declare your intentions. (Eg., "I am going to wash your hair.") This is the five second warning for the child to close his or her eyes.
2. Wash the hair. (If the child is screaming/fighting, continue to wash the hair. Say re-assuring things.) 
3. Hand the child a towel. (Work at reconciliation and the rebuilding of your relationship.)

It's efficient. Most of the time, however, bath time is a positive experience for all involved. Jesse and Robyn entertain each other, and Janna does her own thing. (I think it will be a good thing for Janna not to be the middle child come September.)

And the best thing about bath time is that "Tea Time" comes right after - a moment for Chrissy and me to sit down, drink some tea, and take deep breaths whilst being entertained by the critters.

"Brotherly Love". Robyn is amazingly chill for having had about thirty cups of water poured over her head.

"The Vance Babes". We are now seeing Robyn and Janna playing together, and it's pretty sweet. The communication between these two is cryptic at best, but they seem to enjoy each other most of the time.

Janna's alarming and fascinating effort in pretending to be a butterfly, and Robyn's utter refusal to participate. 

The marking continues. One economics test down. Time to polish off some exams and get started on a photography and film test. Thankfully, I've got Old Dutch to keep me company.

Time to go sleep. I have to say, it feels weird going about regular life while the people of Moncton are in lock down. 

Prayers are with you all...

Looking forward to peace on earth.

The Fellowship of the Chairs

An Unexpected Journey

In all of our lives, we will have times when familial duty beckons us to unforeseen adventure. This is especially the case when one's wife is a Kijiji ninja like Chrissy. At exactly 9:04am, I received an urgent telegram (ie., email) from her requesting a furniture pick-up for that evening. For the past seven years, we have been using the cheapest of all cheap chairs for our dining room table; but Chrissy had somehow located six really nice Ikea chairs for an absolutely unbeatable price, as only she can do, I think. 

(The man who was selling the furniture eventually joked that he had been "Chrissy-ed" when I told him that she routinely offers just over the asking price to ensure that she beats out her competitors.)

At any rate, my task was clear: I was to travel to the distant land of Orléans, negotiate with a potentially hostile buyer (you never know), make the purchase, secure the goods, and return home safely in time to continue plowing through my legendary marking stack.

Clearly, I was in over my head and needed some backup. Thus, the Fellowship of the Chairs was born, consisting of me and my trusty elf partner, Janna.

The heroes clench their fists in defiance of the nearly unspeakable dangers they are about to face.  Despite my repeated explanations regarding the nature of our mission, Janna insists that we are going to a "Bible study". She inexplicably continues to use this terminology throughout the remainder of the evening.

The exchange has been made. Unfortunately, in order to get all the furniture into the van, I had to confine Janna to her car seat for about half an hour while I moved car seats around and tried to fit everything in. During this time, she was tragically terrorized by at least two mosquitoes and and two "shoo flies", resulting in long bouts of uncontrollable screaming.

For all that, when we had finally packed everything in and hit the road, Janna looked at me and said with a little smile on her face, "I had a fun date, Dad!" I almost wept. Then we celebrated by having a driving dance party to various hit songs on the radio. (I taught her some excellent shoulder-rotating moves.)

Mission accomplished. Our living room is now complete, and my work station, complete with marking, blueberries, and gluten-free pretzels, awaits. Little Janna has happily gone to bed, having excited told Chrissy that she had gone to a fun Bible study with Dad.

Well, now that the adventure is over, the marking awaits. Unfortunately, not much will get done tonight, but I have high hopes for tomorrow. (Unfortunately, this is also what all teachers say every night. But it's true! I will have photographic proof tomorrow.)

With steel and determination,

Until next time...

The Joy of Marking

Yes, that time has come. Goodbye, sunlight, shaving, and personal hygiene. Hello, towering stacks of marking. I thought I had finished you off in January, but I should have remembered that one tragic, immutable truth:

The marking pile always comes back.

We meet again, old friend.

That's about all I have to say right now. My eyelids are growing heavy. My red pen is bleeding all over my fingers. The economics test is only half marked, but I can't fight any longer.

Here I come, sweet bed of mine!
Until next time...