Re-Imagining C. S. Lewis

Everyone, it seems, has read C. S. Lewis' (rightfully) lauded children's book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Well, it's about time that we stopped making Hollywood productions of the old book and started taking these words of classic fantasy into the Twenty-First Century.

Therefore, I present to you, with all the spiritual and emotive force of the original, The Mother, the Tractor, and the Grape. You see, it all begins when the Vances are transported to the magical world of Mooney's Bay for a beach supper...

Meet the Mother - protagonist of this soon-to-be best-selling story. Her ambition is modest: to have a simple and happy family supper at the beach. Here we find her cheerfully munching on some dill pickle rice puffs and appreciating the soothing sounds of the waves lapping against the soft sand and Robyn's gentle barks of verbal aggression towards the nearby seagulls... 

...when all of a sudden a freakishly large tractor randomly emerges (from the underworld?) and throws one young Vance (who shall not be named) into a fit of paralytic terror. Poor Mother has not counted on this particular antagonist, and all hopes of a happy supper seem to have been dashed....

...until one brave, handsome Father (who shall not be named) discovers a long-forgotten secret (known to some as "deep magic"): the power of the Grape.

He had noticed just earlier that the youngest Vance was sitting on the blanket with her mouth open. In an effort to distract the slightly-older Vance, who was recovering from her paralytic fit of terror, the Father decided to plop a Grape into the youngest child's open mouth.

The early reaction seemed positive, then.....

BOOM! Instant cackling. We had stumbled upon something huge here - the secret to instantaneous and profound happiness. Simply stick a Grape into a toddler's mouth and watch the reaction. 

Over and over we tried this strange ritual, and the results were entirely replicable. More importantly, Robyn's powerful amity with the Grape had a heart-warming effect upon the rest of us. While the evil tractor may have turned our hearts to stone, the Robyn-Grape combination brought life and hope for the evening.

The Mother, the Tractor, and the Grape will be released solely and exclusively on this blog, so stay tuned. We're already working on the sequel, The Van and His Boy.

With great literary embellishment,
Until next time...