Ah, Camping

Thank you, Chrissy, for filling in the world on the Vance-family activities in my absence. Somehow, the word "Hijacked" in the little post description seems to draw blog readers like a magnet. For my own emotional stability, I've decided not to think too deeply about that.

It has been a busy, rewarding, and tiring couple of days.

Yesterday:
Honestly, I can't remember much of it. I remember that I was gone for a chunk of the day moving a friend to a new place. Then I came home and we began "Operation Back-Yard Campout." Now, my own life policy for camping is simply never to do it, but instead to sleep in my nice warm, comfortable bed being glad that I'm not camping. However, it has come to my attention that some people like to camp, and it seems like my son and daughter (Janna) have caught the bug, probably genetically, through my sister, Katie.

Thus, it falls upon me to bring their little dreams to life as best I can: by making camping as little like camping as possible.

"Ah, Camping," I thought to myself as I held the tiny yellow pole and felt the icy slurp of a minuscule raindrop punch me in the eyeball.

Now this is a tent. Thank you, Jesse Smith, for this fantastic gift: the only tent that I could actually stand up and stretch in without touching the roof. Camping may be the worst, but this tent is like sleeping in a nylon palance. 

No camping experience would be the same without a campfire... Jesse was a little uncertain about the little balls of sugary flame he was supposed to eat, but eventually he did consume an impressive quantity of marshmallows.

Going to sleep in a dark tent. Way darker than Jesse expected, and way spookier, too.

Here's how we looked with the flash lighting things up for us. Jesse's expression tells it all: he was pretty scared, even though I told him we could hold hands arm wrestle until he fell asleep. He now denies that he was ever scared.

7am. The little turkey fell asleep in about four minutes and has the audacity to glare at me this way as he wakes up. Meanwhile, I distinctly remember lying awake at 3:30am, thinking, "I am very comfortable. My air mattress is fully inflated. No part of my body is touching the side of my tent. There are no bugs in here. I am content with my life, even thankful, despite the camping. Why am I not asleep? Maybe if I roll over this way...."

Chrissy treated us to an amazing set off waffles for lunch. Just looking at this picture makes me happy.

(Is it socially acceptable to have a framed picture of waffles on your wall? I'm thinking living room.)

 That's it for now. Round two with Janna is tonight. Who needs sleep anyways?

Ah, camping.

Tired and thankful,
Until next time...

hijack 2 baby

I am hijacking the blog today, as Dave is currently setting up a tent in the backyard for he and Jesse to “camp out tonight”  and I think he plans on going to bed with him around 8 or 9.

It has been a super busy day.  I accepted 4 extra kids for the day, totalling 7 with my own, knowing Dave would be around as an extra set of hands.  However, Dave had committed to helping a friend move, and it never occurred to me it was on the same day as today when he double checked with me that it was workable.

Seven kids is totally fine if they are all over 3.  Seven younger kids are fine if I’m not waddly and pregnant.  But, 7 kids aged 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 is HARD in your third trimester!  All the lifting and squatting and bum changing and being constantly on the feet can be pretty exhausting.   And then throw in all the relational issues to negotiate..... It’s a challenge.

The day shaped up pretty well though!  I had a last minute cancellation, and then a friend popped over with her little guy for a few hours in the morning to help out.  Between 10 and 12 can be tricky with art, lunch, diaper changes, and settling everyone in for naps, so I was super thankful for Kim’s help this morning.   Also, the forecast was iffy in regard to rain, and it didn’t rain all day, so we were able to spend lots of time outside, which the kids do much better with.  PLUS dave came home for 3 to help me push through the last couple of hours of the work day.  Everyone had a good day in the end, and I am good aside from the fact I don’t know how I am going to get up the stairs and into bed!

Anyways, the summer is flying by.  Things are busy but good.  Jesse is loving his life one minute with all the exciting and different events that summer brings, but then crashing the next minute having to “come back” to reality.   He has some real lego from his birthday, and has gotten really good at following the instructions and building things.  Right after breakfast he usually closes himself in his room and works on all his little things for the first hour of the day.  

Janna is so funny with her conversation and language these days.  The other day she was discussing family roles and she said, “ Mommy make breakfast, and mommy make snack, and mommy make supper, and daddy make......daddy make Barbeque!”  Dave and I love to get out with her.  She adores errands, and is a great shopping pal.   She has been less teary with the double attention and more rested parents, but still bursts into tears over the simplest things.  Whenever you ask when why she is crying, she wails,” because you is ANGRY at me!”  Which is rarely the case.... When challenged on this notion she will respond, “ Oh.  I are just tired.”

Robyn is a ton of fun and busy.  She watches her older siblings do everything, and tries it all herself. She now mounts and descends the slide backwards, forwards, face first, bum first, and has even tried somersaulting down it!  She loves the water and if we don’t have the pool or sprinkler going, she takes the top of the watertable and climbs into it.  She has loved having time to spend with daddy, and is really into lip smooches and blowing kisses.  She is such an interesting combination of wanting to be around people and action, but super independent at the same time.   She is a total ham, but much more reserved in the presence of any company.

Dave ran his first 10 K race the other day, and came in under his time.  HE was surprised at how well it went.  But, he has been doing his runs each week with the girls in the jogger, and so I am sure that not having all those extra pounds is something!  He is enjoying tinkering in our garage with his tools, and taking care of the lawn, and getting lots of one on one time with the kids.  He admitted to me that reading this book to the kids gets him "feeling something funny."  That is his way of saying choked up.  Awwww...he's a great dad. 

I am feeling kind of STRUCK by my third trimester.  Leg cramps and more breathlessness, and a super need for a longer nap each day.  But, that’s ok.  Par for the course.  I am happy this is lining up with Dave’s time off, and hopefully I’ll be rested enough to push through September on my own.

Well, that is all for now. It is starting to rain a bit, and Dave is pushing through setting up the tent quickly and Jesse is inside with me playing with his flashlight before they can cozy in.

Tis all for now

Chrissy

Full Moon Tuesday

According to the Farmer's Almanac, which has probably the most credibility of any periodical on earth, July's full moon occurred on July 12th. Unfortunately for the Farmer's Almanac, I have the one barometer of lunar position more accurate than the collective wisdom of all farmers: the mood of my children.

And judging by the complex arrangement of emotions exhibited by our beautiful little hoodlums today, I believe that I can declare with objective, empirical scientific certainty that the moon must be in full swing.

Exhibit A: Two Children, One Bed

Chrissy and I weren't sure what to make of this. First of all, we had to wake up the children, which is nearly unheard of. Secondly, they were both sleeping in the same bed. When interrogated on the matter, Jesse mumbled, "I thought I was in my bed. But when I woke up, I was in Janna's bed."

Mmhmm. Likely story.

Exhibit B: The Uneaten Eggs

Janna loves eggs. Furthermore, she loves Ketchup on her eggs. In a normal universe, Janna eats the eggs. But this morning, she fell asleep on the table. The dog ate most of the eggs.

Something strange is going on here.

Exhibit C: The Strangely Terrifying Upside-Down Bunny Attack

After supper tonight, Robyn stalked us like a hungry fox on the lookout for unsuspecting chickens. Except she was wearing an upside-down bunny mask. (which, if worn by an attacking baby, kind of looks like a deranged jellyfish). All in all this was a humourous but bizarre experience that further cements the idea that...

...something is going on.

My hypothesis: The Farmer's Almanac has it wrong for the first time in centuries. I'm willing to bet one upside-down bunny mask on it.

Ominously yours,

Until next time...

The In-Between Moments

The miscellaneous iPod photos continue. It often seems to me that the most striking photos are the ones that happen when you don't have a camera. But my trusty iPod always comes through for me.

Confession: This photo is about a week old. I can feel my journalistic integrity spontaneously combusting for including it in today's post. I still think it's got some genuine editorial relevance, however, for the sheer seriousness with which Jesse was treating his experience with dentistry.

(Side note: While researching the spelling of the word "combusting," I came across a truly frightening article on the statistics and history of spontaneous combustion among humans. Did you know that women are more likely than men to spontaneously combust?)

The girls get ready to go for a little bike trip with me.

Selfies while biking: maybe not the best idea. 

Janna relives some good memories at the classic Craig Henry Park, close to our old house.

It is worth noting that Janna can now tackle most aspects of the play structure independently. She was particularly proud of mounting the climbing wall by herself.

Robyn masters the "face-down feet-first" sliding technique, which strikes me as being an uncomfortable experience, but which she repeated for literally dozens of times until I forcibly removed her from the park.

On the road to the next park.

"These are good swings, Dadda," Janna informed me.

Back home, Janna shows a proficiency for gardening. Pants are optional for gardening in the Vance household.

Jesse, after being told that he needs to finish his supper if he wants to eat his strawberry and rhubarb pie.

One of the first times that I can recall Robyn being purposefully excluded by her older siblings. She wants to join them in the playhouse, but they fear her, so they won't open the door.

I gave them a stern talking to, but secretly understood their angst after I heard her barking at them angrily and trapping them on the top floor by planting herself at the top of the ladder.

Good day! But the bed is calling.
Until next time...

The Bedtime Routine

For some people, the bedtime routine may refer to the innocuous series of events they arrange in order to bring comfort and stability to their nightly encounters with sleep. For us, however (and this may sound very familiar to many of you), the bedtime routine is a matter of survival. We need to somehow get the kids into their beds, and from there, to that blissful state of unconsciousness that ironically calls to us as parents even as we wish it so desperately for our children.

Step 1: Bathe the children.

Aw, you might think to yourself. That looks cute. However, I assure you that this situation is far from "cute".

First of all, there is major conflict in play, as Jesse is irate over his inability to perfect his snorkelling skills. Apparently having two siblings in the same tub with him cramps his style.

Secondly, Robyn is trying to eat a random drain plug she has found, which we recognize as being less than ideal in most situations.

And of course, there is the matter of her being fully immersed with her pajamas on. Yes, Robyn had her bath ten minutes earlier, but decided that one bath simply wasn't enough. At least it gave Janna an opportunity to wash someone's hair (yikes).

Step 2: Calm the children.

Usually we go to great lengths to avoid watching TV before bed, but we had troubles with our DVD player today and I had promised Jess we would at least start Muppets Treasure Island. Wow, what a strangely dark and twisted movie, but somehow, still hilarious. Nevertheless, I'm a little nervous about the psychological effects of watching the "Cabin Fever" song before bed.

Step 3: Put them in bed.

This was strangely quiet tonight after the first few scenes of Muppets Treasure Island. I think the kids were trying to process it. Usually for this step we read a Bible story from the Children's Storybook Bible, pray with them, tuck them in and fill up their drinks. This is one of my favourite parts of the day, even though I'm usually feeling pretty sizzled by that point.

Step 4: Tea time.

This time is sacred. Brew some tea (or in Chrissy's case tonight, iced apple juice), go outside, drink the tea and talk. Note your pregnant wife's amazing ability to balance her drink on her belly (iced apple juice - don't worry!). Sometimes sit back and say nothing. Enjoy the beauty the God has placed in front of you.

And when Jesse comes out to tell you that Janna has had a "big, big, stinky poop," don't be too impatient. Ask if the poop is still in the diaper. If it is, it will wait for awhile.

If not, GO GO GO!!

Wash your hands and come back. Sit down and close your eyes. Life is good.

Serenely yours,
Until next time...

Three Moderately Exciting Moments

This post will be on three moderately exciting moments. I call them moderately exciting because none of them are quite like having a baby, getting married, or eating one's first Shawarma, but nevertheless, I was thankful for these three miniature events today.

Event #1: Ok, this is actually a little bigger than "moderately" exciting. For a homeschooler, I don't think anything quite compares to the joy of receiving and opening the "book box" of the coming year's curriculum. The beautiful thing is that it hasn't dawned on Jesse yet to mourn the coming of the school year... hopefully education will continue to be a joyful thing for many years to come.

Event #2: Jesse's first race bib. To be clear, this is my race bib, not Jesse's, but this is still his first contact with an official race. He has made me promise that I will run REALLY fast, which I will really try to do. Unfortunately, I think he may be a bit devastated if I don't win this one.

Event #3: The harvest continues, aided by our excellent team of hardworking farmhands ("lawnhands"? "gardenhands"?). These guys were fearless. Jesse, in particular, was dedicated to dumping nearly a jug of water on each plant until we convinced him of the value of moderation.

The result was an abundant supply of rhubarb, and a much nicer looking garden. And really dirty kids.

It was a good day, and we're all tired in a healthy way, except for the kids who are not tired at all and chattering noisily in their bedrooms. Hopefully they will sleep soon.

Sleepily/hopefully,
Until next time...

Things We Like

10:25pm.

Fact: Chrissy and I just heard a big thump and suspect that Jesse has fallen out of his bed.

Fact: That there has been no wailing suggests that he is still there, asleep.

Fact: As of today, Chrissy is in her third trimester.

With these three unrelated facts, let's launch into the post for today on the topic of "Things We Like." In particular, but certainly not exhaustively, I'd like to mention two: strawberries and friends. Jesse and Chrissy got out for one last-minute opportunity to collect some strawberries, their annual tradition at this time of year. For the rest of us Vances, this means strawberry shortcake, which must have been specifically designed by the heavenly powers to give us a foretaste of things divine.

We also had two friends join us for short periods today. The first was Wendy Hummel, who stopped by to collect some raspberries, which will be used to create jam for both our families. Wendy and the Hummel family have become important parts of our life, especially recently, so it was great to have her drop by.

Second, our friend Tyler dropped by for some supper and a movie. Knowing that Tyler has trained himself in the horticultural arts, I took the opportunity to quiz him on pretty much every part of my garden. A few take-aways: it is ok (and sometimes necessary) to trim plants. Also, I think I need to water all of them a bit more. Good to know.

Apart from knowing his plants and being really good with our kids, I've enjoyed some pretty deep conversations with this guy about politics, economics, theology... space... you name it. Tonight we watched a film called Gravity. Perhaps you've seen it? Great story, and quite visually arresting. It doesn't really offer anything new with regard to understanding the meaning of life, except that we need to be brave and make the most of it? (I really wish we could get some Christian production company to actually create a really good movie. I'm still waiting to see one, although Anna Karenina was a great option in the meantime. Some other films have come close.)

Here are some of the highlights in photographic form.

The dynamic duo hard at work ensuring no shortage of strawberry shortcake tonight.

Wendy visits. Robyn was kind of in the "suspicious glare" kind of mood.

Tyler enjoys some excellent pasta. But it needs to be noted that he was not just a pasta consumer; he was also a salad contributor. His salad was awesome. Everything was totally fresh, plus there was some dill and avocado thrown in. Like I said, the guy knows his plants.

That's it for tonight. Time to crash.
Until next time...