Canada Day in 15 Photographs

 Off we go! Look at us here. Everyone looks optimistic about Canada day before getting on the bus for a 50-minute transit experience at the Canada Day at Juliana Park. Although we had a few brief rough patches, things turned out pretty well. Katie is holding the camera in this pic.

 Here is little Janna showing off the latest in Canada-Day fashion. While we waited for the bus, Janna and Jesse literally “danced” for about five minutes, which in Janna’s case meant spinning in a circle.

 Auntie Katie was a huge help in managing the children, and she did it all with a smile on her face. Notable, this photo was taken at Lincoln Fields, right beside APARTMENT 1004!

 Jesse’s brotherly concern for his sister has really taken off in the last few months. Whenever he feels that she is “taking the wrong path,” he takes her by the hand and leads her back. It’s usually pretty sweet, except for when he’s in a hurry and drags her across the floor. Also cute is the fact that she really likes it when he pulls her along and she puts up with it way better than when WE try to direct her.

 Lately, when we ask Jesse to smile, he’s been giving us this. It’s the effort that counts, right? Note: Momma is very relieved to have found a seat together on the bus, and Janna (possibly the bravest Vance) is petrified at least at first. She warmed up to OC Transpo by the end.

 Happier!

 We finally arrived at the fair, and we balked when we found out that we couldn’t get on the rides with Jesse. I mean, Jesse still won’t let us put a quarter in the moving spaceship ride at the mall, so how would he handle a genuine ride by himself? We stuck him onto the fire truck and this is what we got…

No problem! The ride starts and we have one happy boy. His face lit up like I’ve hardly ever seen it! 

 Meanwhile, Janna discovered one of the most incredible foods known to mankind… and this occupied her for most of the rest of the trip.

 Ride #2 for Jesse. As soon as he sat in this truck, he assumed this aura of seriousness, as though he had discovered his one true calling.

 Janna and I watched the events from the sidelines. Little did I know it, but she was systematically rubbing as much cotton candy into the back of my shirt as she could. Now the back of my shirt has two giant blue splotches on it.

 Chrissy and Katie, the true heroines of this story, kept us all going. Tired, but still smiling.

 On his epic truck ride, Jesse developed this incredible practice of waving LIKE THE QUEEN as he drove by. Without exaggeration, he queen-waved every single time as he went by, so that parents to our sides began to wave back in amusement. Clearly he felt the full dramatic weight of the moment.

 After a brief traffic jam, we were on our way home. Janna had occupied herself by chewing granola bars, spitting them onto my shirt, and then rubbing them in. Katie thought this was pretty endearing….

Almost home. Jesse had a minor meltdown when he got out of his seat and was pitched against a bus pole, but Chrissy sedated him with a granola bar. Super mom! Altogether, I’d say this Canada Day was a huge success. Now we just need to add another little Vance to the mix!!!!

Summer, part 1

Here is a summary of the last hour:

1) Woke the kids up from their nap and dressed them
2) Loaded them into the van and picked up Momma from work
3) Drove to Tim's, sat the kids down at the table
4) Waited for Chrissy to pickup food while kids became increasingly irritated
5) Kids ate timbits, but we forgot drinks! Kids become irrate.
6) Waited in LONG line, bought apple juice
7) Kids are crying, sat down with them and opened apple juice
8) Spilled 3/4 of apple huice on my lap
9) Elderly people around us mock me without mercy
10) Drive home with sopping shorts and crying, thirsty children

Another exciting day in the life of the Vances!

A Short Post

It's been almost two years since my last post. Many things have happened. Let me list them briefly:

-I have taught for two years at a school where most of the students are Dutch and taller than me
-Chrissy and I had our first real vacation (summers are awesome for teachers) and we visited family out East
-Chrissy and I have moved from our cramped apartment to a cozy little townhouse (Katie also lives there, in our dungeon - I mean, basement)
-I have bought an iPad (yes, I included this in the list)
-Chrissy and I have had another baby (Janna). She actually is the cutest baby ever.
-Jesse has learned to walk, speak... and lick people. No joke, he's licked me twice in the last two hours

I plan to write a bit more often now, but I need some major ISSUES to write about. So if you have some, let me know.

Dave

Concerning Katie the Usurper, her Henchman Seth, and my Beautiful Family

Behold: The Usurper, Katie Vance

So. Everyone has been reading Katie's blog, and hearing about her phenomenal experiences in South Korea, fraternizing with Jehovah's witnesses, Koreans, and fellow North American (mis)adventurers. Innocently, you say. Even humorous and well-written. Well, everybody, I'm here to make a startling revelation - despite it's apparently innocuous nature, Katie's blog is actually a particularly vicious electronic attack against yours truly. Read on, my 4 friends, and know the truth. Fortunately, Katie is not the only one who can pose nuanced intellectual warfare over the inter-web.

Unfortunately, for several months, I have not been able to find my blog to write in it. I accidentally deleted my bookmarks, and with them any trace of the location of my beloved "Apartment 1004". But friends, friends, your long wait is over. I have since relocated my highly-intellectual musings and have returned to present Katie with direct competition to her overrated Korean escapades.

It seems to me that Katie is trying to directly challenge my established position of "teacher" within the Vance family. First, for those of you who don't know (among my 4 loyal followers), I recently secured a contract as a teacher for Redeemer Christian High School. Furthermore, I have spent the last year studying to become a teacher at a reputable university called University of Ottawa. Furthermore, I am older than Katie. Surely, of the two of us I am more established as "the" teacher of the Vance family. But the usurper, Katie, has seen fit to overshadow me by not only becoming a teacher AS WELL, but by beginning to teach IMMEDIATELY, and to teach children who DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH. How am I supposed to compete with this? She is obviously trying to ruin me.

The logo of my school.

The logo of Katie's school. Note that they are CONFIDENT of their success. There is nothing innocent about this...

Secondly, Katie has evidently decided to challenge me in my role as "childbearer" for the Vance family. That's right, dear friends. Recently I became a father to an awesome baby boy named Jesse David. He is truly a great kid. However, upon reflecting on the blessings of parenthood, I realized that even here Katie is trying to steal my thunder. I have a baby, true, but Katie has gone and gotten herself DOZENS of babies - KOREAN babies. We're trying to teach our baby how to speak, she is teaching her multitudes of babies how to speak ENGLISH. The parallels are so striking I can't believe I didn't see them at first. Once again, Katie is attacking me subtly through her blog, further incriminating herself as the usurper she is.

My baby.



Katie's babies.

On a deceptively unrelated note, my so-called friend Seth Potter has been relentlessly and subliminally trying to convert me to the quasi religion of reformed theology. On his July 27th, 2009 post, he writes on spiritual matters concerning Israel and the Church. As usual, Seth presents his opinions with zeal and intellectual precision (dangerous tools when in wrong hands!). His post, however, is not as innocent as it seems. Cast your glance to the bottom of his post, to the "Tags" section. Yes, Seth has "tagged" me in his superficially innocuous posting. What does this mean? Some might call this an "innocent mistake" or a "simple joke", but I see purposes far more sinister here. This is a direct hark back to KATIE's own experiences with the Jehovah's Witnesses in S. Korea. Katie, having learned of the dark attraction of abberational religion, decided to apply this lesson to her own life in an effort to ELIMINATE the most direct competition to her own blog - me. It seems obvious now that she recruited Seth for her own cause and persuaded him to begin a campaign of malicious propaganda against me. At best, I suppose, she and Seth believed that I might somehow believe that it was DESTINY for my blog to be overshadowed by Katie's own. A valiant effort, if only I were so naive.

Seth "Calvin" Potter

Having adequately refuted Katie (and Seth's) weak efforts to dispose of me, I'd like to end this post on a positive note. I want to give a shout out to my beautiful new family, which is now composed of my incredibly attractive and patient wife Chrissy, my mighty son Jesse, and my consistently neglected dog, Cooper. The Ottawa chapter of the Vance family is thriving, and looking forward to the coming months.

Isn't Chrissy beautiful???? Jesse was happier in the next picture, but I love this picture of Chrissy.

Until next time,
Combatatively yours,

Dave

Something DEEP

Ok, so in my last little update I promised something deep in my next post. Truthfully, I have nothing. This either makes me shallow, or way too busy (practicum ends in 1 week!). But to whet your doubtlessly voracious appetites to hear what important things I have to say, I am going to post the lyrics to a song I've been trying to write for a long time. There are gaps because I need some help with it, so any suggestions would be appreciated.

"When You're Next to Me"

If I had the words to write you a song

I'd make it a masterpiece;

With lyrics like fire, my heart would aspire

to move you with pure melodies

If you gave me sight, I'd look straight to you,

Where else could my eyes find their rest?

I'd search the whole earth, and for all that it's worth

___________________????? (Something that sounds like rest?)

Chorus:

Hey, hey, I feel the sky

I hear the stars when you're next to me

Hey, hey, I feel you breathe

and I tune my soul to your heartbeat.

Second verse and bridge: I got nothin!!! 

That's it for today.
Daver

Best CBC Interview Ever

By the way, this is really funny. And it just gets better and better.

Billy Bob Thornton!!!!

Mid-Praticum Update

Hello, little blog-readers. Well, it's been almost a month since my last post, which is horribly uncommitted of me. It's been so busy I've barely had time to think. A bunch of stuff is happening:

• Practicum: The legend continues. I'm just about done my 5-week stint at molding young minds at Glebe Collegiate. The reports are good, except I need to crack down on discipline a little. Any innovative ideas for discipline techniques???
  
  
• Pre-natal classes: Yikes. All the "female" words that I have avoided throughout my time as a man have made a dramatic comeback in these classes. Plus, all the other guys there are avid readers of pregnancy literature. For example, I was one of the only guys there who hasn't read "The Baby Whisperer" or "Eighteen Short Birth Stories". What is this? Should I be reading this stuff? My heart says no, but my "pregnancy buddies" (??!) say yes....
  
  
• Chrissy has reorganized our apartment. This might sound uneventful if you don't know my wife, but she takes a task like this to heart. After drawing to-scale diagrams of each individual piece of our furniture, she has used them to create an absolutely stellar layout for everything. If I knew how to post pictures I would. But trust me, it's awesome.

That's about it for this post. I think blogs are supposed to be a bit more intellectual or something, so next time I'll try to write something DEEP. Prepare yourselves, my (3?) friends.