Read Chrissy's Blog

Truly, nothing particularly noteworthy happened today for me, since I was at work and then worship team practice.

However, Chrissy had her hands full! I think everyone should check out what she has to say.

Until next time!

The Dark Knight Rises, YEAH!!!

Part 1: The Dark Knight Rises Was an Awesome Movie!!!!!

Was it ever! I have to say, I haven’t been as pumped after a movie in recent memory. Paul, Stevie, and I were basically giggling all way out the theatre. I’ve always said the Lord of the Rings movies were my favorites, but this movie is a serious contender for the top!

Here we are before the movie. You can see the wild anticipation in our eyes. We were also sitting in IMAX theatre seats that tilted backwards when you least expected it, so that might account for some of the alarm/excitement on our faces. 

I wisely decided not to take any pictures of the movie itself (though I was sorely tempted), but without any spoilers, here is a list of the things we found awesome:

• Batman’s motorcycle
• Occasionally awesome cheesy lines
• The bass almost crushing our chests 
• Batman

There really are many more things, but to mention them would ruin the surprise.

Driving home, thinking about... Batman. Occasionally pretending my van was the Batmobile.

Stevie – still pumped!

Part 2: Ways to Occupy Two Restless Kids

Chrissy was working today, and so I took up the mantle of “House Man” once again. My plan was ultimately to exhaust the kids with a mini park tour early in the day, thus being able to maintain the upper hand as the day progressed. 

Katie came home last night! She spent some quality time reading to the kids before the day began.

Next, Jesse and I created the best train track ever. He was quite proud of his creation!

Meanwhile, I used a strategically placed turtle toy to occupy Janna while I sunscreened them both for the park.

 I’ve noticed that “sunscreening” has become an oft-used verb in our house. It’s a horrible process of greasing up kids with a slimy substance they hate, usually resulting in tears and anger, occasionally from the kids. Do all parents fear the sunscreening process as much as I do? Is anyone actually good at sunscreening their children? If there’s a proper technique for this, I’d love to hear about it.

Anyways....

Jesse and Janna on the way to park #1. They have become increasingly conversational in the wagon. Actually, conversational isn’t the right word. Jesse lectures Janna on a given topic for several minutes, until Janna emits a spontaneous scream, earning her a harsh rebuke from Jesse as he attempts to instruct her in the proper etiquette of wagon riding... repeat!

Janna insisted on trying the “big girl swing” at the park. 

Unfortunately, due to a washroom emergency, we were forced to return (very quickly) to our house.

Later, in a desperate attempt to occupy the children, we used a towel to dress up. This became Jesse’s “ghost” costume, and here he is giving us his best “ghost” face!! Thankfully, Momma had returned from work and suggested a few more substantial activities for us.

That’s it for today!

Until next time...

The Glory of the Children's Museum

Part 1: The Children’s Museum

Meet Lorna Chisholm, a friend of mine from days of yore. Lorna, who is just completing a fellowship at the Canadian Museum of Civilization, kindly invited our family to the Children’s Museum to experience the glory of the best toys, cars, and activities of cultures from around the world and throughout history!

One of the best things about being “invited” by a person like Lorna is that not only do you not need to pay, you do not need to wait in the colossal line to get in! We simply had to walk up to the visitor information counter and inform them that we were Lorna's guests. 

In front of us was a lady with kids desperately complaining about the length of the line in a rather shameless attempt to have the staff member sell her family tickets, allowing her to bypass the monster line. While she was politely rebuffed, we were given special treatment by an employee that came over, greeted us, and stamped each of our hands, giving us full reign of the museum. It was awesome! 

Here are Chrissy and the kids, in front of the colossal line. (We were feeling pretty smug here!!)

There were dozens of mini-exhibits for the kids to see. One of the first was the theatre, where the kids were able to put on costumes, present little shows, control the sound board at the back, and so on. It was really cool!

Here is Jesse pretending to be the teller at the box office.

Jesse trying out his acting skills. The clown costume was a natural fit!

Jesse’s favourite part of the museum was probably the “ambulance,” as he called it. In reality, it was a large Indian-style bus (not sure if it was actually from India or not). 

He loved this because he was able to sit in front of the bus and “drive” it, which is probably his biggest ambition at this point in his life. Ask Chrissy – he is always telling us about how soon he will be sixteen and will drive us all to work. To Jesse, that is currently the pinnacle of human existence.

In a random hut along the way, Janna fell deeply in love with this outfit. This was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was good because she looked very cute and regal as she donned her blue robe with a solemn and dignified expression. It was bad because of the inevitable meltdown that ensued once it was time to leave the robe behind. 

Thankfully, there were plenty of other activities to distract her: like running in endless circles around the pyramid!

Jesse clearly understands the dignity and respect that must be afforded the role of xylophonist. No smiles were cracked during the sounding of this sacred instrument.

The motorcycle, on the other hand, unleashed his wild side!!!

Ah, a beautiful chance to sit down and enjoy the beautiful landscape. Sounds relaxing, right? However, if you’ll note the sly smile on Jesse’s face, that’s the smile that says, “You’re about to find out that I just peed my pants.” Touché, Jesse.

Our last stop on this adventure was the giant water fountain at the top of the steps. We kept telling Jesse that we were going to the big fountain, but he was hopelessly perplexed since the word “fountain” sounds a lot like the word “mountain.” He kept on saying, “Are we climbing the mountain, Mommy?” to which Chrissy would respond, “No, we’re going to see the fountain.” Irritated, he would pause and reply, “Now are we climbing the mountain?”

Turns out, Jesse is terrified of fountains. This was the happiest photo we could produce. Momma is enjoying herself, at least!

As we left the museum, Jesse was heartbroken. He cried all the way back to the van, which we took as a sign that he had really enjoyed himself. Thanks so much, Lorna! Have a good break in Winnipeg!

Part II: Rain

I just need to say, yesterday we had a great thunder/rainstorm. The sky grew dark, we lost our power, and the rain came down. It was much needed. Here’s are before/after shots:

That’s it for now! Tonight, myself and two friends are going to see The Dark Knight Rises. This will definitely make it into tomorrow’s post!

Until next time....

A Post of Miscellaneous Happenings

Well, today was a genuinely relaxing day! In honour of the day of rest, I thought I'd write a post documenting some of the more random and amusing happenings of the last few days, sans photos.

1. Remember that day last week when Chrissy made pancakes and basically saved all of our lives? Well, I forgot to mention that as Jesse saw us generously applying some good ol' Aunt Jemima's syrup onto said pancakes, he somehow gained the impression that syrup is called "drip."
   
   Since then, whenever he'd like some syrup, he has said, "Could you pass the drip, please?" and "I really like drip!" I think this could catch on. It all starts with you, dear blog readers!
   
   
2. This morning, Janna literally decorated her head with her breakfast. It all started when she took a handful of cottage cheese and spread it liberally through the curly hair on the back of her head. (Yes, the only real hair on her head. She's working on it!)
   
   That was pretty common, though. She stepped it up a notch when she took her toasted and buttered bagel, and placed it upside down (buttered side down!) on the top of her head. Then, with no expression whatsoever she looked at us and slowly wiped her buttery bagel from the top of her head down to her nose, leaving one long smear of grease. No explanation has yet been offered for this behaviour.
   
   
3. Not to be outdone, Jesse has developed an obsession... with elbows. He actually tends to judge people based on the size of their elbows. He starts of at the table by taking a good, long look at his elbows, and then asks to see everyone else's. Then he proceeds to interrogate each of us with the question: "Do you have big elbows?"
   Well, apparently I have extraordinarily large elbows, because my elbow showings have consistently inspired him to great fits of excitement.
   
   
4. Janna has developed a love for granola bars. She decimates the things.... but in the eating, she leaves behind a pile of granola. It turns out that the only interest she has in the bars are the five or six chocolate chips contained in each bar.... everything else is pushed into a reject pile that's basically the same size as the original snack.
   
   
5. Jesse is fully potty trained now (HALLELUJAH), but when we take him to church, we stick a diaper on him just in case. He loves wearing diapers now, because it basically means that he has sanctioned approval to pee his pants.
   
   Case in point, today at the lunch table, he asked us with a gleam in his eyes, "Do I have a diaper?" When we replied that yes, he was still wearing his diaper, he face suddenly lost all expression and assumed a vacant stare. After about ten seconds of this puzzling behaviour, he suddenly beamed at us and exclaimed, "I peed!" The pure joy on his face over being able to pee his pants without fear of reprisal was pretty awesome.
   
   
6. Finally, less amusing but more great: Momma finally had an evening out to herself tonight! She took off at 4pm, got a nice little drink at Tim Horton's, and sat on a rock by the Ottawa River and read. Sounds inspiring, does it not? Even more awesome, she has promised to bake CINNAMON BUNS for me tonight! I'm pretty sure that the baking of cinnamon buns is one of the characteristics of the classic Proverbs 31 woman, so I'm counting myself  pretty blessed.
   

That's all for tonight! 

Until next time...

Forty Kilometers, Two Hours: No Problem!

And by no problem, I mean that my body has literally shut down, and Chrissy may need to carry me to bed.

How did this happen, you might ask? Well, it all began when I suggested to my small group that we should go for a bike trip together. One person accepted, a man by the name of Paul Dagenais. The same Paul Dagenais, you may recall, that opened up to us the wonderful world of Andrew Hayden Park.

The thing about Paul is, he’s in pretty good shape. I, on the other hand, am less so, to put it mildly. Thankfully, he was a pretty fantastic biking partner and let me set the pace. We started off at Bayshore, went over Island Park bridge, biked along the River on the Gatineau side for a while, and eventually ended up back at Parliament.

We also visited a church called Calvary Fellowship, which was pretty sweet. Small group, great message, awesome community! Check it out!

Finally, we headed back home, in the dark for most of the way. I have to admit, there were a few times when I thought I wasn't going to be able to make it up the LONG, LONG hills, and the wind blew directly into our faces for a decent part of the trip. I let Paul draft me for a good chunk because I knew he could use the extra training! 

Finally, we returned, 10:00pm. After having a little chat with Chrissy, I found that my whole body had seized up, rendering me inert. Chrissy was kind enough to lead me through some good cool down stretches that were incredibly painful, but I could move again afterwards.

What a good day! Thanks Paul (and Chrissy)!

Until next time...

Ready to brave the long, long road!

How Ottawa looks from Aylmer. What a beautiful day for a bike trip!

An Ode to Chrissy

Up until about 10 or 11 o’clock, I was planning to name this post, “A Mundane Day.” By lunchtime, however, I had changed my mind and decided to call it, “A Horrible, Awful Day”!

Why the sudden change of heart for the worse, you might be thinking? Did something “horrible” or “awful” happen? Actually, no. It was simply one of those ordinary days when both kids were in a bad mood, and I was home alone to deal with the drama.

Jesse’s bad mood took the form of clinginess. He wanted me to do everything with him, play trains, blocks, stamps, play-doh, etc. This wouldn’t be all that bad if I didn’t need to eat breakfast, clean, make snacks, lunches, etc. There was no breathing room! He exacerbated matters by intermittently poking Janna, stealing her toys, and lecturing her on her manners and the various ways she was breaking the rules. And peeing himself.

A bad mood for Janna is easy to spot. She just looks at me and cries. ALL DAY.

So, lunch time found me with my head on the table, dolefully studying the various grains in its quasi-wood, Ikea surface.

I think this photo accurately captured the dominant mood of our family as we joyously prepared to play outside.

Enter Chrissy Vance. As she opened the door in her return from work, it was as though sunshine was directly infusing our withered souls with life!

She seemed to quickly sense the desperate mood of the homestead, and set to work creating the one thing that could bring redemption to the otherwise abysmal day... 

...PANCAKES!

I literally ate eight pancakes. As I held up that final mouth-watering, soul-restoring delicacy, I reflected to myself that I might be the luckiest guy in the world. 

Indeed, Chrissy’s cooking creations were not limited to the pancakes which were bestowed upon us today; she has been whisking up masterpieces all week. Let me give you a brief list of some of her recent works of culinary art:

• Pasta pomodoro
• Seared pork chops with creamy mushrooms
• Sesame scallops with pistachio brown rice
• Cocktail meatballs 

I can barely type these words without tearing up.

Chrissy, for all you do, this blog post’s for you! I love you babe.

Tomorrow is a new day! AMEN!

Potter Party + Tanglewood Adventures

Part 1: Potter Party!

There comes a time in everyone’s lives when people burst into your home, assume control of your kids, and lock you out for two hours with stern instructions to go on a date. This happened just today to our good friends, Seth and Rebekah Potter. The invaders were none other than yours truly, the Vance fam. While Seth and Rebekah were out, we were determined to have ourselves a “Potter Party!”

Practically, this meant that we Vance parents would be looking after five kids for the next two hours, four of whom were under three. Good training, I thought to myself, for our third addition, due in November. As it turned out, it was a pretty fun two hours.

Allow me to introduce you to the characters of this epic showdown:

The Potter Family

Baby Potter, also known as Gideon: 

This is one cute kid. At about four months, Gideon weighs a little more than Janna, our seventeen-month old! Needless to say, he will be one powerful guy. He has a great personality, and loves to give big smiles. 

Jonah Potter

At eighteen months, Jonah is following steadily in his father’s footsteps. He greatly enjoys reading, and he may have the biggest smile I have ever seen on a toddler! Despite occasional time-outs from over-zealous pats on the back, head, etc., he has a great heart and a huge love for fun.

Naomi Potter:

Almost three years old, Naomi is an incredibly cute kid. She basically organized us for the whole time we were there, instructing us all to pick up rocks around the back yard and put them in buckets (which actually kept the kids occupied for about twenty minutes!). All of this with a huge smile on her face. 

When she heard that her parents would be home soon, she threw herself on the ground sobbing. When I asked her what she was doing, she stopped, looked at me, and with a huge grin said, “I’m crying!” before resuming her activities.

The Vance Family:

Janna Vance:

At seventeen months, Janna was nevertheless the smallest person in the house, possibly including the cats. She’s our sweety-pie, and greatly enjoyed playing with Jonah and Naomi.... until she became tired. Then things got a little messy.

Jesse Vance:

Jesse’s my main man, and he loves hanging out with Naomi, Jonah, and Gideon. Usually, he’s a pretty independent guy, but all it took were a few directions from Naomi, and he was working with her to excavate the yard of all pebbles. They seem like a good team.... hmmmm......

Momma Vance:

The arbiter of all peace and calm in our family. She is at least twice as sympathetic as me, but still holds an almost mystical authority over the kids. Respect! 

Jesse actually took a particular liking to Gideon during this visit as well, which was reassuring to me since he’s going to have a new addition of his own to watch out for in the next few months. 

Surveying the grounds for rocks. The boys didn’t want to disappoint Naomi!

Command central – Naomi kept the boys in check from here. She was a pretty gracious task master but was quick to lay down the law on Jonah when he tried to make off with some of the rocks!

Well, two hours FLEW by! I couldn’t believe it! And when we left with only our two kids, it felt eerily quiet for the rest of the way home. I think the Potters enjoyed themselves at Cora’s too. Mission accomplished!

Part 2: Tanglewood Adventures

After naptime, we decided to blow off some steam at Tanglewood Park, a nicely shaded area with incredibly comfortable benches! Ah, benches.

Janna Vance, sporting one of her cute-but-indefinable clothing items. 

Momma Vance!

Jesse, with his favourite hat. He explained its importance to me in the van as he was putting it on: it protects him from "summer and the sun."

Here, Jesse is waving and saying goodbye to the bubbles that Momma had just blown for him and Janna.

Ah, benches. 

"I can do it!"

The joy of going down the slide as a toddler. Man, the slide hasn't seemed so fun in decades!

A rare natural smile from Jesse. He's hard to catch unaware!

Jesse loves the swing! He keeps asking me to push him higher... higher... higher...
NO! NOT THAT HIGH, DADDY!

I would be remiss if I didn't include some kind of apocalyptic commentary on our continued lack of precipitation. Here it is: All the grass in the park was yellow! Clearly, the world is ending.

Sorry for the extra long post! Hope you all have a wonderful day.

Until next time...