Swimming = Emotional Trauma / One Man, Three Children

Hello there,

It's been a while since my last post. This is for a very good reason: I was away for nearly a whole WEEK taking a philosophy course at Hamilton. Having complete my in-class component, I will now consider myself a "Philosopher of Education." (Shout out to Paul Dagenais who was an excellent travel companion, putting up with all sorts of shenanigans from me, including endless philosophical talk, and one moment of intense car sickness! A true friend buys Gravol for his buddy.)

Moving on...

Chrissy and I have a pretty great deal worked out in that each week I get Mondays off to get some time to myself, and she takes Tuesdays. Well, this was her day off, and so I have some pretty respectable blogging material...

Swimming = Emotional Trauma

Incidentally, those two swimmers would be Janna and me. Janna has begun her swimming lessons, and I am going with her to provide that extra little bit of parental support. If you happened to read last year's account of swimming lessons with Jesse, you know that it was a tad on the stressful side. We hoped our independent, easy-going daughter would have an easier time of it.

We began by suiting up and flexing our muscles. I said, "Flex your muscles, Janna!" This is what she gave me. Surely you can feel the power radiating out of your screen!!

As a father, I take organization very seriously, as evidenced by this bag that I helped pack (ie. I added the sippy cup and rice crisps).

Notice that Janna is extremely happy prior to her swimming adventure with Daddy. THE MOOD IS POSITIVE.

So how did it go?

Well, not the best. The happy mood dissipated immediately upon Janna's spying... the water. Yes, she stoically accepted many of the minor details: the toy fish she got to play with was quite alright, the many kids and their parents seemed engaging, and the instructor was competent and upbeat. In fact, Janna seemed to like him a lot, until he started to pour (trickle?) water from a watering can onto the heads of the various kids in the class as the stood along the edge of the pool.

(The idea was that each of the kids was a seed; they were watered, which made them grow, until they were full-grown plants and decided to jump into the pool (naturally?), at which time their parents would catch them and joyously splash around with them in the pool.)

So, as Janna watched this absolutely unintimidating young man water the various "seeds," she turned pale and wildly looked at me, saying in a pleading voice,"no...no...no... NO.... NO!.... NONONONO!!!" When the instructor finally came to her, he seemed to notice that she was on the verge of imploding. He looked at me with what I believe was uncertainty (not having my glasses, I saw only a white-ish blob move in my direction and tilt its head). I nodded with determination. Instead of pouring the water on her head, as was the tradition, he opted instead to pour it on her... knee. Janna howled as though he were scalding her with burning hot water and flung herself at my neck, where she stayed for the next twenty-seven minutes, in various creative positions of panic and anguish.

I'll not go into details. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and Janna was pretty upset too (ha ha!). In the end, we agreed to forgive each other, and I think trust has been restored to our relationship. :) I present the following photographs as evidence that Janna has not been permanently damaged by this experience.

I would say that this is Janna being RIDICULOUSLY happy to be out of the pool!

Very, very cool. Only the coolest kids eat chedder rice crisps with a red sippy cup.

This is Janna's effort to give the camera a thumbs up!

Janna singing on the way home. What is she singing? Who knows! But it sounds happy, which again leads me to believe that she has suffered no permanent emotional damage.

One Man, Three Children

The other day, as she prepared to take her day off, Chrissy had remarked that she couldn't remember the last time I had looked after all three children by myself for a whole day. Upholding my honour, I hastened to retort that of COURSE I've looked after them for a whole day by myself, recently too. (But I couldn't actually remember when this was... or what the occasion could have been... but I felt very sure that I must have done this.) 

As Janna and I returned from our swimming adventure, I decide to prove my competence as a father by taking them all our on a walk/bike trip. After all, Jesse needed practice on his training wheels, and what better way to practice than by taking him on a long ride along a busy road with two other young and unpredictable children in a stroller? (I could almost feel Chrissy's stress, but to her credit, she just grinned, waved, and we were off!)

Here we are, plus one of our neighbours, triumphantly setting off. Nothing could stop us!

Having very slowly and very carefully traveled to the bike trail, I let Jesse loose. He loved it - it's pretty awesome to see your son biking around. Only one big fall off the bike, and no tears!

At home, after some delicious tuna sandwiches, we had a massive wrestling match. Janna is often the most unpredictable and feared contender, but I think Jesse is just a really good sport and lets her win a lot.

Here he is, getting squashed!

Janna takes a quick break from the action for a necessary moment of melancholy reflection.

Robyn is actually terrifying as a wrestler. She moves at light speed and always dives straight for your face. Here, she was lunging at the camera.

Well, that's all we've got for today. I'd just like to point out that when Mom came home, every one of the Vances were accounted for and mostly uninjured. A good day was had by all! But without Mom, clearly, strange and disturbing things happen. She definitely brings out the best in us, and without her... 

Well, this video basically sums it up.

Looking forward to more bloggage in the near future!

Until next time...

Pre-"Summer" Goings On

In terms of narrating the life of the Vance family, there's really no topping Chrissy's epic blog Vance Palace Tales. However, what I can provide is the DAD'S PERSPECTIVE, which is indescribably and alarmingly different. Here goes!

First of all, it's important to note that in the Vance household, it is not yet summer. Summer only happens when I'm all finished with work and can thus be a more present (and useful) member of our household. As it turns out, I'm scheduled to take a course all next week in Hamilton, ON, leaving Chrissy to fend for herself with three kids for the next week. Summer for all of us starts when I get back.

NEVERTHELESS, we decided to make the last three days as "summery" as possibly before my unfortunate absence. Here follows a LONG, LONG account of the last three days.

FRIDAY

Friday was my first day without school, and Chrissy had made plans with a cousin of mine, Genevieve, to catch up. Now, this was a pretty big deal, since it had been literally fifteen years since I'd seen her, she usually lives in Scotland with her husband, John, and they just happened to be vacationing at her dad's cottage at Meech Lake (site of the tragic Meech Lake Accord). In many ways, this was a cool and relatively rare opportunity. 

But first we had to get there! It was a dark and stormy day....

And unnaturally quiet. You see, every day we wake up and desperately try to get our devotions in before the kids wake up and destroy any sense of sanctity we may have established in our home. Well, today they were just eerily quiet. 

Sneaking up to the kids rooms, I was able to take a rare photograph of a peacefully sleeping Janna. Here it is:

Unfortunately, my photojournalism actually woke the sleeping angel, who began angrily swatting at my camera. Whoops!

Meanwhile, Jesse has a much more chipper morning routine: he is a hugger. He has this amazing way of seeing you in the morning as though he hasn't seen you for months. "HI DAD!!" followed by a big hug. "HI MOM!" and then a morning cuddle. 

He's definitely our morning kid.

Unfortunately, we quickly noticed that this was not the idyllic beach day that we had imagined for hanging around the dock at Meech Lake. We decided that this was a "pensive, reflective" kind of day, and that it would still be fun to see Gen and John.

But wait! We weren't scheduled to leave until 9:30 and it was only 8:00! What to do??? Luckily, Jesse is a puzzle fanatic. We just pulled one off the shelf and let him at it.

The puzzle finished, Jesse had just enough time to pin his (immobile) baby sister to the floor before we left. (Actually, I am particularly grateful for how well the kids have been getting along lately. Jesse and Janna still have their tiffs, but they both seem to get along really well with the baby - except for when she gets Jesse's hair, which is scary and hilarious!)

After braving the intense weather, we actually had a pretty incredible drive out to Meech Lake. Quebec feels like a different world, and despite the scariness of not being able to read ANYTHING (can anyone tell us what a "cul du sac" is?), it's BEAUTIFUL! And windy. No photos of the road - we were too worried about literally falling into Meech Lake.

In the end, we had a great time with Gen and John. It kind of made me think, why did we wait fifteen years to get together with such cool family? Here's to a Vance family reunion, and soon!

Chrissy: "Awwww, you guys look alike!" Awesome to see these guys. Sorry to have no photos of John, but he's one cool guy! We learned that he ran twenty miles, and then fifty (or sixty?) miles, all UPHILL, in some kind of crazy competition. Made me feel a little silly for complaining about being tired after my 5km bike home from work!

Chrissy and I after returning home. Tired, but happy. (I think this can be our life motto for a while.)

The rest of the day was rainy and "broody" - the perfect kind of day for coffee and a book!

SATURDAY

We really only had two goals for Saturday: we would go to Canadian Tire to buy a pump for Jesse's soccer ball, and then go to the park and play soccer.

More easily said than done. Upon entering Canadian Tire, Robyn invented a new method of being devastated and overjoyed at the same time. Hence, tears and smiles (see below). Nevertheless, we survived the experience of purchasing the ball pump (plus a sprinkler!) and set off to go to the park.

Janna was pretty great at the park. She quickly decided that she would be responsible for Robyn, and tried (impressively) to push her little sister all over the soccer field.

Jesse led us in various soccer drills. Here, he patiently awaits for me to assume my role as "mud monster," which is apparently an important position in four-year-old soccer!

Next he decided that he and Mom needed to run to the other side of the field. Poor Janna was devastated!

I thought we should get a cool bird's-eye shot. This involved me climbing on top of the soccer net, which I thought would be easy, but actually took me about five long, painful minutes of hanging from the bar in progressively more awkward positions until I managed to somehow flail over the top. My body (my pride? my sense of youthful invincibility?) still hasn't recovered.

After soccer, we invaded the park. Here, Jesse is emotionally overcome after realizing the slide has been covered in wet, gross sand.

Thankfully, the swing set comes to the rescue! We're still working on the whole pumping of the legs bit, but since Jesse is so impressed with the simple back and forth motion, we're not rushing him. :)

Another successful day, I think. I'm still trying to read Chrissy's expression here.... any ideas????

SUNDAY: "Canada Day"

We know it wasn't really Canada Day today, but since I'll be traveling to Hamilton tomorrow, we tried to make the most of it. It has been painfully difficult to explain to Jesse that Canada is not a person, and that we can't have Canada Day again next week. When he grasped that he'd have to wait a whole year for Canada Day to return, he actually got kind of upset. The trials of childhood!

At any rate, we decided to go to a fair in Barrhaven, which ended up being loads of pretty affordable fun. Last year, we were so excited to see Jesse try out his first rides. This year, he was unstoppable! Here he is reassuring us as he lifts off on the helicopter ride.

Chrissy was practicing her photography skills. Here she captures my ridiculous enthusiasm and Jesse's not-quite-concealed joy over the whole situation.

Janna, on the other hand, was less than impressed. "Yawn... dozens of helicopters spinning in a circle.... I've seen this all before."

It was always fun to look back into the second compartment of the stroller and see Robyn beaming at us (or someone else). She's a cutie!

Janna perked up a little bit at the merry-go-round. She loves horses, but she hates loud noises, so we weren't sure what she'd think. Turns out, she wanted to try, and so she went on her very first ride, holding on to her plastic horse with a steel grip!

Chrissy and Janna, waving to Jesse as he passes us in his manly blue truck.

Definitely the scariest ride was the dragon roller coaster, which Jesse had to ride by himself. He had this madly intense look in his eyes the whole time, and he was saying something out loud that we couldn't hear. Chrissy thought he was just making random noises (as he is known to do), but I thought he was saying "STOP. STOP. STOP."

(In the end though, he said it was one of his favourite rides!)

Mom and Dad, barely keeping it together.

Next was the great Ferris Wheel, king of all amusement park rides. Chrissy took this shot of Janna and I on the ground below (Janna was trying to push Robyn away in the stroller, to the amusement of all onlookers.)

This was definitely Jesse's favourite ride. He'd like to go on it again next week, please.

Nice shot of the suburban landscape.

Chrissy feels completely dispassionate about Ferris Wheels.

Somewhat anticlimactically, Jesse wanted to end with a little wooden car ride. By now he has shed his cool demeanor and allows himself to grin at us as he passes by.

We ended by eating classic cotton candy on the side of a big, grassy hill. Thankfully, cotton candy is gluten free!

Even Janna grudgingly enjoys a small dose of the fluffy treat.

Canada Day(ish) 2013 - it's been fun! See you next week, if Jesse has anything to say about it!

Well that's all for now. THAT TOOK FOREVER! Hopefully I'll become faster (or less longwinded) as the summer goes on.

Till next time...

The BLOG is BACK!

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." 

-Philippians 1:3-6

Welcome!

In the spirit of the verses listed above, this blog is simply about thanking God for the people he has placed into my life - mostly my beautiful wife and kids, but also the people whom we are blessed to call friends, and our extended family as well.

It is the messy, messy story of God bringing his good work to completion. 

We're thankful to be a part of it, and I hope that it will also make for some fun reading!

The Players

If you tuned into this particular blog last summer, you might think you already know the players of the "Great Vance Drama." However, we have a great little addition to our family. I'll introduce everyone, from eldest to youngest:

Here's me, in all of my glory. That piece of pineapple never had a chance. I will be your reliable narrator on this journey.

Meet Mama Bear, or "Chrissy" as we call her. She is the one who keeps us all together, organizing us, motivating us, wiping away our tears, etc. Sometimes I think Proverbs 31 was written with her in mind.

Cooper is actually our oldest child. (He was born a day after our wedding). Here is his trademark "I am so very weary" pose. His mastering of this particular pose is a testament to the energy of the next three players...

This is Jesse, and he is incredibly chipper at unreasonably early hours of the day. Four years old, now! I love this kid.

Janna is, at two-and-a-half years of age, defined by powerful and rapid movements from indignant frustration to contagious joy. If passion was electricity, Janna could probably power Ottawa. Despite the unpredictability, however, she brings us incredible joy every day (which we will document very carefully).

Meet Robyn, the youngest of the Vances. Robyn is teething right now, which brings some discomfort, but overall she is a sweet, inquisitive child. I know we're supposed to cherish every moment, but I can't wait to see what kinds of things she's going to say, and I'm pumped to watch her interact more and more with Jesse and Janna (and Cooper - poor Cooper).

The Plan

My goal is to blog a few times each week - not every day, but often enough, sometimes capturing several days in one post. I planned to write more tonight, but Chrissy and I are having a movie-and-brie date - we are watching Australia. Anyone seen it?

Before signing off, I'd like to leave everyone with a video of Vance sprinkler madness. We bought a sprinkler today, which seems to have affected us all in strange and wonderful ways. Enjoy!

Until next time....