Swimming = Emotional Trauma / One Man, Three Children

Hello there,

It's been a while since my last post. This is for a very good reason: I was away for nearly a whole WEEK taking a philosophy course at Hamilton. Having complete my in-class component, I will now consider myself a "Philosopher of Education." (Shout out to Paul Dagenais who was an excellent travel companion, putting up with all sorts of shenanigans from me, including endless philosophical talk, and one moment of intense car sickness! A true friend buys Gravol for his buddy.)

Moving on...

Chrissy and I have a pretty great deal worked out in that each week I get Mondays off to get some time to myself, and she takes Tuesdays. Well, this was her day off, and so I have some pretty respectable blogging material...

Swimming = Emotional Trauma

Incidentally, those two swimmers would be Janna and me. Janna has begun her swimming lessons, and I am going with her to provide that extra little bit of parental support. If you happened to read last year's account of swimming lessons with Jesse, you know that it was a tad on the stressful side. We hoped our independent, easy-going daughter would have an easier time of it.

We began by suiting up and flexing our muscles. I said, "Flex your muscles, Janna!" This is what she gave me. Surely you can feel the power radiating out of your screen!!

As a father, I take organization very seriously, as evidenced by this bag that I helped pack (ie. I added the sippy cup and rice crisps).

Notice that Janna is extremely happy prior to her swimming adventure with Daddy. THE MOOD IS POSITIVE.

So how did it go?

Well, not the best. The happy mood dissipated immediately upon Janna's spying... the water. Yes, she stoically accepted many of the minor details: the toy fish she got to play with was quite alright, the many kids and their parents seemed engaging, and the instructor was competent and upbeat. In fact, Janna seemed to like him a lot, until he started to pour (trickle?) water from a watering can onto the heads of the various kids in the class as the stood along the edge of the pool.

(The idea was that each of the kids was a seed; they were watered, which made them grow, until they were full-grown plants and decided to jump into the pool (naturally?), at which time their parents would catch them and joyously splash around with them in the pool.)

So, as Janna watched this absolutely unintimidating young man water the various "seeds," she turned pale and wildly looked at me, saying in a pleading voice,"no...no...no... NO.... NO!.... NONONONO!!!" When the instructor finally came to her, he seemed to notice that she was on the verge of imploding. He looked at me with what I believe was uncertainty (not having my glasses, I saw only a white-ish blob move in my direction and tilt its head). I nodded with determination. Instead of pouring the water on her head, as was the tradition, he opted instead to pour it on her... knee. Janna howled as though he were scalding her with burning hot water and flung herself at my neck, where she stayed for the next twenty-seven minutes, in various creative positions of panic and anguish.

I'll not go into details. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and Janna was pretty upset too (ha ha!). In the end, we agreed to forgive each other, and I think trust has been restored to our relationship. :) I present the following photographs as evidence that Janna has not been permanently damaged by this experience.

I would say that this is Janna being RIDICULOUSLY happy to be out of the pool!

Very, very cool. Only the coolest kids eat chedder rice crisps with a red sippy cup.

This is Janna's effort to give the camera a thumbs up!

Janna singing on the way home. What is she singing? Who knows! But it sounds happy, which again leads me to believe that she has suffered no permanent emotional damage.

One Man, Three Children

The other day, as she prepared to take her day off, Chrissy had remarked that she couldn't remember the last time I had looked after all three children by myself for a whole day. Upholding my honour, I hastened to retort that of COURSE I've looked after them for a whole day by myself, recently too. (But I couldn't actually remember when this was... or what the occasion could have been... but I felt very sure that I must have done this.) 

As Janna and I returned from our swimming adventure, I decide to prove my competence as a father by taking them all our on a walk/bike trip. After all, Jesse needed practice on his training wheels, and what better way to practice than by taking him on a long ride along a busy road with two other young and unpredictable children in a stroller? (I could almost feel Chrissy's stress, but to her credit, she just grinned, waved, and we were off!)

Here we are, plus one of our neighbours, triumphantly setting off. Nothing could stop us!

Having very slowly and very carefully traveled to the bike trail, I let Jesse loose. He loved it - it's pretty awesome to see your son biking around. Only one big fall off the bike, and no tears!

At home, after some delicious tuna sandwiches, we had a massive wrestling match. Janna is often the most unpredictable and feared contender, but I think Jesse is just a really good sport and lets her win a lot.

Here he is, getting squashed!

Janna takes a quick break from the action for a necessary moment of melancholy reflection.

Robyn is actually terrifying as a wrestler. She moves at light speed and always dives straight for your face. Here, she was lunging at the camera.

Well, that's all we've got for today. I'd just like to point out that when Mom came home, every one of the Vances were accounted for and mostly uninjured. A good day was had by all! But without Mom, clearly, strange and disturbing things happen. She definitely brings out the best in us, and without her... 

Well, this video basically sums it up.

Looking forward to more bloggage in the near future!

Until next time...