Highs and Lows in the Vance Family

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was a time of gleeful happenings at A Gym Tale, it was a time of leaking diapers and crazed, knife-wielding toddlers.

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Well, the Vance family has its share of highs and lows, and today the highs were pretty awesome, and the lows made us want to cry.

THE HIGHS:

Strawberry Short Cake (Gluten Free): They say that everyone has their love language, and mine is certainly... food. I look at these delicious, mouth-watering delicacies, and think, “My wife loves me.” I love you too, babe!

A Gym Tale:One of the perks of Chrissy’s job is being regularly exposed to a magical place called “A Gym Tale,” which Jesse and I will happily score a 10 out of 10!! Locally owned and operated, this play-centered pre-school has actually improved Jesse’s physical coordination several fold. 

When he first started in January, he was too timid to go down most playground slides and could barely climb the play structure. A few short months later and he is barreling down all but the biggest of slides and climbing just about anything that he can find! We visited A Gym Tale today for an hour or so.

Jesse makes a mighty leap onto a big, soft mat. That wild look in his eyes remains throughout the entire duration of the visit.

 

One of the nice things about this place is that it has a PIRATE SHIP, which was really nice for Jesse after our bitter disappointment yesterday.

Each kid has their own favorite activity. For Jesse, it’s clearly the slides. He zips down these so fast, I’m sure he must be breaking some kind of slide speed laws. Note how in this picture he actually appears to be traveling faster than light. 

What is Janna’s favourite activity? Well, she likes to do all the sliding and climbing and bouncing too, but she LOVES to buckle the high chairs!

Snack time is also big for Janna, especially when she gets the chance to wipe her crackers through her hair.

THE LOWS: (no pictures, too tramautic) :(

The Leaky Diaper:

It all started when we went to pick up Chrissy at a nearby Tim Horton’s. (Note: This was the same Tim Horton’s as last week, when I spilled the apple juice onto my lap and the elderly patrons mocked me. Some of those same people were there today. I think I’ll avoid this Tim Horton’s for the rest of my life....!)

Anyhow, there isn’t much to the story except this. When I picked up Janna to take her inside for a little treat, her cloth diaper was sopping wet, and it sopped all over my arm. This was unfair, because I had just changed her diaper. Diapers can usually hold more than this! Maybe Janna was exercising her ability to retain water and then let it all go at once, but she got me again on the way back to the van, and I smelled all the way home.

Everything Falls Apart:

Turns out, the diaper experience was just a hint of things to come. I’ve tried to add a humourous tone to the following account, but truth is, Chrissy and I were both pretty shaken by the events to come. I was given the task of preparing supper today – a garden salad and BBQ’ed sausages. I had just put the sausages on the BBQ and set to work chopping up some veggies when Chrissy burst into the house holding a screaming Jesse. She called me and asked me to take him, and I could tell by her voice that something was wrong.

I set everything aside and rushed over, and immediately noticed that Jesse was holding his arm at an odd angle. When I asked Chrissy what was wrong, she told me that he had been on his tricycle and had just started screaming. She asked me to take off his shirt – maybe he had hurt his arm, or been bitten by a bug, but he was definitely in hysterics and would barely let us touch him.

I picked him up, took him over to the couch, and took off his shirt as gently as I could. As he was screaming and sobbing, he kept flinching and pulling away, and he was crying, “Something’s bothering me!” and “Daddy, protect me!” over and over again. It was really scary.

We couldn’t find any marks on him, so we asked him where he was hurting, but he just kept saying “there” and pointing to his arm. Occasionally, he’d jerk and start screaming again and asking us to protect him. I realized that the sausages were still on the BBQ, and I was trying to ask Chrissy to check on them (Jesse was still clinging to me) when Janna started running around, tripped, fell on the floor, and started bawling. Chrissy was trying to check on the sausages when the dog started barking, and (seriously!) the phone started ringing. It felt like everything was literally falling apart in front of us! I was praying pretty hard at this point.

We didn’t know what to do – I thought maybe Jesse had broken an arm or his collarbone or something, or maybe he was having some kind of reaction, so we began to get ready to take him to the hospital. He was still crying when, all of a sudden, Janna burst into the room carrying, of all things, the enormous knife that I had been using to chop the vegetables! I must have set it down on the nearby chair in my rush to get Jesse, and Janna had grabbed it. Of course, we quickly disarmed her, resulting in many more tears, and we turned on Dora for Jesse while we tried to track down his health card.

Somehow, Dora healed Jesse, because after about thirty seconds, he was a brand new boy. He told us he was all better, and that nothing hurt.

Still pretty shaken from the last five minutes, I went to check on the sausages. My hands must have been a little unsteady because as I picked up a sausage to check if it was cooked, I dropped it in the grass. I picked it up and dropped it again! Shaking my head in frustration, I grabbed it a third time, opened the screen door to wash it off, and dropped it a THIRD time onto the dining room floor. Our sneaky little dog lunged for it, and I was so fed up that I punted him across the floor. (I am not proud of this, but he didn’t try to steal any more food for a while.)

Basically, that’s where the story ends, and we spent suppertime eating, talking, and healing emotionally. We’re still not really sure what happened, but we’re guessing that Jesse had some kind of panic attack. Chrissy told me that right when it happened, he had been complaining that a bug was on him.... maybe it freaked it out really badly. The funny thing is, he’s not usually afraid of bugs. He IS afraid of monsters, and that’s when he usually asks us to protect him.... maybe he was confused? Anyhow, we hope it doesn’t happen again.

The Cooler:

What else could go wrong, you might say? Well, I would respond, our lunch cooler could always become melted to the stove while our shortcakes cooked... Yes, it did. ‘Nuff said.

In the end, we believe that everything God created is good, even days like this. A Gym Tale was fun, I can cope with leaky diapers, and we’re thankful that Jesse’s problem wasn’t more serious. As for the lunch cooler... ha ha ha... I think that’s a write off.

Here’s hoping for less drama tomorrow!